My dad once told me the key to his wellbeing is, “I’m the same person everywhere I go.” This baffled me. I was clocking overtime at the multiple persona factory- working hard to be different people everywhere I went. I believed others needed me to. In truth, this effort was draining my energy, leaving me less present and less available for high-quality connections. I see now that my dad’s authenticity stems from his state of integration.
61% of the workforce “covers” aspects of themselves at work. This effort takes a toll on health and wellbeing, commitment, and productivity. If you’ve read this far, chances are you balance many roles in your work/life- parent, leader, student, friend. Many of us hold the belief that the disparate demands of each role require different people to play them. Yet, compartmentalizing our complexity leaves us feeling “never enough” in any of the roles we play. The integration of disparate parts of ourselves is key to authenticity- that special sauce of our unique talents, strengths, struggles, and experiences.
By accessing our wholeness, we are armed with the resources to face the challenges we encounter. How can we bring the natural rapport we have chatting with our best friend to that important presentation? Or tap into the creativity we have on vacation when seeking a time-sensitive business solution? Here is an exercise I developed for my coaching clients that has helped them tap into the resourcefulness of their wholeness, and feel greater integration. This can be done on a piece of paper, or – as we recommend, a journal, and takes anywhere from 5-10 minutes.
Step 1: Identify a change you’d like to make and a challenge that is getting in the way. This can be work or life related, big or small. Write this at the top of your paper.
Example: I would like to start exercising daily, but I can’t find the time.
Step 2: Down the left side of the paper, list the roles you fill in your life. Who are you for others? Who are you for yourself? What do you love to do but don’t spend much time doing?
- Team Member
Step 3: Next, beside to each role, write the qualities you express when you are at your best in these roles. What do you do well? What qualities do you exhibit? What strengths do you express?
- Team Member: Diligent, loyal, creative, honest
And so on…
Step 4: Look your list. What patterns do you notice? Do certain words show up in many roles? Are other strengths only expressed in one role?
Now, look at the change and challenge you identified.
What qualities can you mine from your performance in other roles to meet this current challenge?
List the qualities you will utilize.
Step 5: Commit to one action step towards the change you would like to make.
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ― Rumi
How did this process work for you? Share your insight with us @ TNL@the-next-level.com
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