How to Be a Dolphin in a Shark Tank
Leading with Sensitivity in Toxic Environments
(For the podcast version of this article, tune into Listen to Lead)
I'm 25 years old, standing in front of a room of female analysts at Goldman Sachs, here to help them be heard amongst their male colleagues. As they describe their current conditions—being ignored, interrupted, or diminished when they speak—I've heard it all before. I've learned about these challenges since childhood, when my mom, founder of Next Level Leadership, taught me to use my "assertive voice."
So I pull out my prescriptions:
If ignored, graciously repeat your statement
If interrupted, kindly call attention back
If diminished, enlist allies to amplify your voice
"That won't work," they reply to each suggestion. At first nicely, then growing in shared conviction. "No, no, no, that will NOT work!" they intone, a Greek chorus. Their male colleagues would plow through graciousness, pillage suggestions, yell, scream, walk out, threaten—anything to be heard over them.
My training was a bust.
At least these women were heard that day. They broke me of the arrogance so common in early career: believing more in my tools than in their lived experience.
This example points to a bigger question I'm still asking: How can connected leaders thrive amongst power-over leaders?
The foundation of Next Level Leadership is the belief that the leadership of the future is connected, web-style leadership rather than top-down, pyramid-style leadership. Yet ideology crumbles against reality.
This reality hits in moments when, halfway through my six-month Success Circles program, a leader will raise their hand and say something like, "We're sold on connected leadership. It works. But our senior leaders are not practicing it."
Organizational life is a kaleidoscope of individual human experiences. Ignoring people's truths to fit predetermined ideas catastrophically undermines change efforts.
The Dolphin vs. Shark Reality
A friend was a people leader at a pharmaceutical company. She sat near tears after a brutal meeting. A senior colleague offered advice: "You're a dolphin. But you're surrounded by sharks. You need to become a shark."
My mission is to prove this wrong. I want to help dolphins be dolphins—in shark tanks and friendly seas alike—because dolphins are interconnected communication masters with extraordinary perception and miraculous self-healing abilities.
All it takes is one shark to turn a friendly sea into a shark tank. Leadership contagion means one power-over leader can poison an entire environment. Everyone starts angling their words to please the predator. Insider-outsider groups form. Competition replaces collaboration.
The shark at the top has zero incentive to change—power-over leadership has worked for them.
Your Dolphin Superpowers
Dolphins are extraordinary creatures with:
300-degree perception: You see what others miss
Electromagnetic sensitivity: You feel the energy in the room
Complex communication: You understand unspoken dynamics
Pod mentality: You naturally build supportive networks
If you're highly sensitive, you're not too emotional to lead—you have superpowers others lack. You don't need to learn empathy; you are empathic. You don't need to develop emotional intelligence; you already possess it.
I've watched "too sensitive" leaders rise to the top of their organizations, beloved because their awareness became their greatest strength.
Four Strategies for Thriving as a Dolphin
1. Build Your Pod
Don't look to the shark for change—they're not interested. Instead, build your network of positive relationships. Create critical mass that can shift the entire room's dynamic. Form a pod that amplifies each other's voices and celebrates great work.
Resilient teams buffer themselves from negative leadership through:
Psychological safety: Feeling safe to be yourself
6:1 positivity ratio: Six positive interactions for every negative one
Collective positive emotions: Small gestures showing you see people as humans
This is where Success Circles comes in, our signature program changing the water for connected leaders.
2. Own Your Superpowers
Your sensitivity is your strength, not your weakness. Embrace the heightened awareness that allows you to read rooms, understand unspoken dynamics, and connect authentically with others.
3. Fill Up on Yourself
When you're being devalued daily, be full of yourself (as Matthew McConaughey says):
Leave work when you need to leave
Connect with people who see and value you
Engage in activities that bring you joy
Work with a coach to understand deeper dynamics
4. Keep Your Freedom to Swim
Having the option to swim to new waters gives you power in current ones. When you know you're never truly trapped, you move with more agility and confidence.
Understanding Your Triggers: The SCARF Framework*
When emotions run high, check which core need might be threatened:
Status: Your sense of worth relative to others
Certainty: Predictability in your environment
Autonomy: Control over your choices and values
Relatedness: Quality of your relationships
Fairness: Equitable treatment
Understanding your primary triggers helps you respond rather than react.
Your Secret Weapon: Self-Healing
Dolphins have extraordinary self-healing abilities—researchers still can't fully explain how they recover from wounds so quickly.
You have this same power. You can heal from toxic encounters, maintain your positive energy, and choose to swim to friendlier waters when necessary.
The Bottom Line
My new coaching container launching this Fall is The Liberated Life, a 6-month journey to break through the barriers between you and your most expansive, joyous, generous self.
But liberation doesn't always mean quitting your job. Sometimes it's about staying for the 98% you love while developing strategies for the 2% that's toxic.
Don't abandon your mission, your team, or your values because of one difficult dynamic. Instead, own your dolphin nature. Your sensitivity isn't a weakness—it's your superpower.
The world needs more dolphins, not more sharks. So keep swimming, keep connecting, and keep leading with your heightened awareness.
Build Your Pod: Learn about Success Circles
Own Your Superpowers: Learn about The Liberated Life coaching container
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*Developed by Dr. David Rock