Build Grounded Confidence

After surveying thousands of Next Level Leadership program participants over a 20+ year tenure, the number one development goal by far is “confidence.”

But what are we talking about when we talk about confidence?

Confidence’s been subject to a widespread disinformation campaign. 

As our Success Circles partner Sally Helgesen outlines in her latest book, Rising Together, research on the “confidence gap” between men and women has given rise to efforts to boost women's confidence for confidence sake. 

At the same time, the downfalls of individuals employing performative confidence to land leadership roles beyond their capacity have become so ubiquitous as to be their own brand of mass media entertainment. It turns out that confidence in and of itself is a poor predictor of job performance, particularly in leadership.

To add another level of complexity, there’s the well-researched “double bind” for women, wherein women can be penalized as “unlikable” for the same shows of confidence that bolster their male colleges, and likability is a major contributing factor for women’s professional success, not so for men.

To get confidence right, Sally employs us to rightsize our confidence and competence, neither posturing beyond capacity—arrogance—nor diminishing our capacity—skirting our responsibility to serve. Confidence untethered from capability is at best delusional and at worst coercive, whether we’re diminishing or bolstering ourselves. 

Grounded confidence is having the surety to assess both our strengths and growth areas. With this soberly positive perspective, we can apply our strengths to the development of our weaknesses as we reach toward peak performance. 

Grounded confidence is needed to say “yes” to growth opportunities, stepping into the proverbial arena. Indeed, grounded confidence is the foundation of a growth mindset, wherein we esteem ourselves based upon our capacity to grow, verse a fixed mindset, wherein we esteem ourselves based on metrics of performance. A fixed mindset tells us we are intelligent or not, visionary or not, charismatic or not. This mindset prevents us from stepping into the arena for fear of discovering our shortcomings. A growth mindset tells us we are capable of developing in any direction we place focused attention on. This mindset calls us into the arena with the playful spirit of a child seeking to become their best selves. In the arena, we can assess our current capacity, envision future success, and do the gritty work towards that aim.

So, how do we develop grounded confidence? 

The root of the word confidence is “fid,” trust. We develop trust in others when they do what they say they’re going to do, over time. We develop trust in self the same way; by doing what we say we're going to do, over time. Simple, but not easy. 

Throughout the six-month journey of Success Circle peer coaching for leadership programs, you have the opportunity to do what you say you're going to do, time and time again. When it comes to confidence building, the mundane matters. By building in daily micro-moments of self-accountability, you’re laying a foundation of grounded confidence, brick by brick.  

By the end of our time together, you’ll be standing taller to see more. As your platform of grounded confidence rises, your perspective will widen. Your career landscape will expand, turning technacolor, as ideas, options, and potential pathways become both available and enticing. Once afraid to enter the arena, with grounded confidence, you will seek growth. The playground of life will call, and you will say “yes.”

I’ve seen people through this shift hundreds of times over 15+ years of running Success Circles. In other words, trust me to help you trust yourself. 

Journal prompt: If I trusted myself completely, I would…

Reading this back, is there one action you can take to act as your most confident self? 

Build grounded confidence with Success Circles.