From Self-Delusion to Self-Love

In Rising Together, our Success Circles partner Sally Helgesen makes the case that confidence and capability must be well correlated to properly self-assess. Confidence far outreaching capability is arrogance. Confidence far below capability thwarts contribution. (See ”Build Grounded Confidence” for more).

Let’s call this process C&C assessments. 

C&C assessments must be specific to a given area. None of us is all expert or all novice.

C&C assessments must be specific to the moment. You’re evolving on your connected leadership journey. (See “Why Connected Leadership Journey”)

Blanket feelings of C&C are inevitably self-delusion, whether they bolster or deflate.

Self-assessment requires self-love. The deep-rooted kind. If self-love is contingent on performance (conditional love), we’ll never be able to see ourselves without hurting ourselves.
Self-delusion is self-protection. The answer to it is not a harder beating. Rather, your first job is to love yourself so much that nothing can come close to your heart but love. 

A Practice: Feedback is for the Birds

Read, then close your eyes to envision.

Imagine yourself on a field. All around you is a bubble of love. Give it a color. Now hear the chirping of birds. These are helpful messengers with feedback on what you might do next, differently, or stop doing! They have so much to say. What will you listen to? What birdie will you sing away? Do you see how your bubble of love stays the same? Do you hear their messages delivered with love?

Build grounded confidence in uplifting community. Applications are open for our first-ever Success Circles program for individual leaders. Learn more to apply, nominate, or sponsor.