We don’t give people what they need most because we fear it’s not enough.
After fourteen years as a leadership coach, the single most effective strategy I've encountered to bring forth greatness is encouragement.
Sometimes I forget this. I get in my head about wanting to deliver the most amazing coaching session possible. I focus on pointing out gaps or negative patterns. The invariable effect: my client recedes (to a greater or lesser degree) from the conversation. Things become rigid (“Oh, we’re being judged here...”), when what we need (for the effervescent energy characteristic of flourishing happening in real-time) is openness.
What we think will add the most—pointing out the negative—effectively subtracts—taking energy, enthusiasm, belief, and trust from the conversation and the relationship.
In these ego-trip-ups, I circle back to coaching basics: “appreciative inquiry,” or asking questions to build upon the positive. Through the portal of positivity, growth areas can be approached with confidence, willingness, and creativity. And, as the work happens, the relationship builds.
I trust the basics to consistently deliver the miraculous.
It’s often when we want to give the most that we doubt encouragement is enough. But trusting encouragement is enough is trusting the other person is enough. It’s seeing them as abundantly resourceful—and helping them see themselves in this way too. Encouragement calls all of them into the room. Of course it does. “The room” becomes electric.
In truth, encouragement doesn't add anything. It multiplies everything.
A practice to use right away: In your next one-on -one, start off with the first question of the Success Circle peer coaching process: “What’s a recent accomplishment you’re proud of? What strengths did you use to accomplish this success?”
Then, build upon the positive by asking how they can apply these strengths to a current challenge.
Try it out, then let me know: What went well? How can you continue to encourage?
Do you want to become a coach? I don't blame you. Watching people flourish is the privilege of a lifetime. I pinch myself that it's my job. In response to client demand, I'm offering our first Next Level Leadership coaching certification program, a customized, one-on-one mentorship with me. The program will take place over 12 sessions with me and 12 sessions with your volunteer coachee. Each mentorship is customized to coaching goals and career demands. If this calls you, email me at Lucia@the-next-level.com to start the conversation.
Upcoming training: Next Level Vision, strategic vision for connected leaders with Lucia Brizzi. Friday, July 19th, 2024, 12–2 p.m. ET. live on Zoom or on-demand replay. Register.